Business proposals
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Chapter X: About coffee and after dinner digestives
Xela, Quetzaltenango, Guatemala
“Anyway, these gentlemen wanted me to dust their cotton crops with my good old, trusty plane. You know, it was the same Cessna we’ve flown in so many times, The Warrior Queen, she’s just like my woman; I’d never trade her for anything in the whole wide world and that’s a fact!” The only two occasions that Grandfather wore that certain special smirk of his, were either when he was talking about Grandmother, or his airplane and flying. “The thing is, in that particular year I´m talking about, we had some serious problems with blights. Most of the crops in the region were devastated by the pests, so they were willing to pay a hefty price for me to fumigate their cotton.” He paused for a refill with a self-satisfied grin on his face. “Since I was paying for the plane’s expenses anyway, I liked the idea. We quickly agreed on the price, the conditions, and all those details that I won’t bore your pretty little head with.”
At that precise moment, the light was filtering through my window. I watched as it bathed the room with a soft light. It appeared to be quietly searching for Grandfather´s smile, this tiny ray of light filtering through the open window. It bore a striking resemblance to an arrow, heading towards its mark, for it hit precisely on Grandfather´s golden tooth. Spellbound, I delighted in observing how it sparkled, as it shined so bright. I still felt a little queasy, though undoubtedly, his presence had lightened my day.
He continued happily laughing. “Would you believe that once we had finished lunch, I was about to order a pint of rum, the usual, just a pint for each of us, to celebrate the deal; instead, one of the Germans actually asked the waiter to bring coffee for us all? Why, of course, the waiter hesitated. I’m sure he didn’t understand what was expected of him; after all, he had known me for a very long time, and he knew perfectly well that I always ordered rum after a meal! Also that restaurant is known to serve only the finest rum. It was brought over from Zacapa, in Guatemala. As you can understand, ordering coffee is absolutely unthinkable and a crime as well!
“Still, I was in an expansive mood, after having closed that deal at such a good price. I told the waiter to go ahead, and bring coffees for the gringos and for me also. When the coffees arrived, I raised my cup in a toast to the business venture we had agreed on. Furthermore, I drained the cup in one big gulp. Of course, that’s only basic standard procedure and a natural display of good manners. How the hell was I to know, the coffee was meant to be sipped! And in any case, where’s the joy in that? Naturally, I completely burned my mouth, blistered my poor tongue and seared my throat. You could probably cook a hen with that drink, yes indeed!
“As you can imagine or maybe not: inevitably, I was scorched, and I had to spit it out, every last drop of the stuff! The waiter was clearing the table as I showered and soaked him with the steaming, hot coffee! Served him right, he should have warned me! Meanwhile, I turn around and what do I see? The Germans delicately drinking their coffee, as if it was the most superb of the blue-ribbon bourbons. These gentlemen reminded me of ladies daintily drinking tea, while they deftly raised those big, fat little fingers of theirs.” At this, Grandfather laughed so much that his eyes filled with tears. He was shaking so hard that he reminded me of the Cerro Negro volcano and its hefty explosions.
“What did you do Grandfather?” I asked as his laughter rubbed off on me.
“What could I do? I shouted at the waiter, and I ordered my pint of rum!” he answered still laughing uncontrollably. “Take this God given coffee out of my sight and bring me my rum! And, either you hurry up, or I´ll horsewhip both you and these coffee-drinking Germans also!”
We were both under a major giggling attack when Grandmother looked in from behind the door; obviously, that only made us laugh harder and louder.
She entered the room smiling, as my mother also arrived. Mother stroked my hair and placed her hand on my forehead. Surprised, she turned to Grandfather and said:
“Look at this girl, Papa! All this laughter has made her fever disappear!”
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